Family Update

From an email to a friend back in Wisconsin, asking how we're doing.

Things are hard here. John's working/studying/dissertating (we made it a verb) a lot, which means I'm a single mom most of the time. I'm usually fine with that, but some moments, hours, days, and weeks are much harder than others. I know the saying "If Momma ain't happy, then nobody's happy," but here it seems to work the other way.

I took Isaac out of kindergarten because he was thoroughly unhappy when he was home and I couldn't deal with it. It's full-day kindergarten, and it was just too long doing exactly what his teachers told him to do--seven hours every day...I would get so upset at him for being crabby, which wasn't what either of us needed to be feeling or doing. Now he's a happy boy again. We'll either homeschool for a couple years or start him in kindergarten next year, I'm not sure which yet.

Danielle's starting her "terrible two's" and has very stubborn (wrong) opinions about many things. Usually she's angelic, so the twos-ness always comes as a surprise...usually I can redirect her from her opinions, so it's not a big deal.

But, Jeremiah. Oh, my little angel boy. So sweet sometimes, so loving. And then he'll completely out of the blue start physically beating himself up. He gets upset, and I usually can't figure out why or fix it if I can, then beat himself up--slapping his face and throat, punching his body. And that's when I get completely overwhelmed and lost and confused and sad. I can't help it--it makes me so sad to see himself hurt himself, and I don't think he's in control of himself at that point, and I can't fix it. I don't like feeling helpless, even for a few minutes.

I can't figure out how to balance attempting to have a reasonably clean home, teaching children to be kind and happy, preparing food for them to hopefully consume (quietly, if it isn't asking too much), and time for myself. If I could get Jeremiah to stop shredding toilet paper all over our apartment it would drastically help this place look a lot cleaner. :) But not being able to come up with a plan has been really hard for me. If I hada well-thought-out plan and didn't follow by choice, it would be a lot easier. But I just feel stuck.

Our bishop took me aside after he set me apart a couple months ago, and he told me that I have much more to do than is possible right now. So at least I know it's true. I know I just need to choose wisely..but I don't know how. If we had thousands of dollars to spend on food every month, I'd just have everything prepared for me by somebody else--but we don't.

Though, I am learning a lot. I learned a few nights ago that even if a green crayon destroys a load of laundry (from someone else's laundry, left in the dryer), it's still more fun to fold if I watch a TV show while I fold it. Very good to finally learn. Laundry has been so boring and time consuming for the past eight years, and now I can almost look forward to it.

I'm learning how to distract my kids into doing what I want them to do, which has been very useful, and sparks creativity. I'm learning that I can get my kids to walk into stores, home from the playground, down to the car...creatively...mostly races and bribes of food. I'm learning to give Isaac more responsibility and trusting him to obey, which has been hard and good.

Just little tricks to make things easier. And I'm teaching Danielle things now that will make my life so much easier in a couple years, and I wish I knew how to teach Jer the same things. She's so easy to teach, I understand how to teach her...But I can't figure out how to get Jeremiah to sleep without an adult right next to him. I keep hoping that when Isaac's a little bigger, he can get Jeremiah to sleep, but I think that's more hope than actual possibility there.

That's the longer version of "I think we're doing pretty good, with exceptions, of course."

The weather here is perfect. Isaac, Danielle and I walk Jeremiah to school, and a sweatshirt is optional. Pants are preferred but not absolutely necessary. I can open up our windows in the afternoon and there's a nice, chilly 60 degree breeze to cool things down a bit. I love the winters here. It finally isn't summer anymore. :)

Fantastic Contraption

So John and I have a new hobby: We make physics devices from two to five in the morning while our kids are sleeping, for a date. I like triangles and cars, which I used exclusively until level 13, so this is just a different kind of car than I'm used to making. We couldn't embed the game, but here's a link (push continue then the start button):

My Cute Tank!

Post any cool designs in the comments!

Isaac

Some things about Isaac...

Isaac's responsibility this month (I kept forgetting at the week-marks to change responsibilities) is Keys. He is in charge of locking and unlocking the door. He does a very good job.

Isaac was struggling to pay attention in his class for the first couple weeks, but now he's doing great! One of the first days of school he brought home 8 mostly blank worksheets; yesterday he brought home 8 completed (and completely correct) worksheets. He is great at math, and really good at reading...but writing letters is harder for him.

He still has the cutest inflections when I have something special for him (and anything slightly out of the ordinary is special). "You made me applesauce bread? And you brought me a slice? Really? Thank you!" It reminds of Hannah. :)

We had dinner with some friends (who had the big screen TV with football on it mentioned below), and the little 12 month old boy had woken up after we arrived, an was fairly (sleepy) sad. Isaac kept trying to help him be happy. He tried playing peek-a-boo around furniture, bringing him different toys, and was sweetly talking to him.

Isaac and Jeremiah (and sometimes Danielle) play crazy running-around-the-house games together...they climb up beanstalks, they hide from each other, they stay away from the lava... Isaac tried to teach Jeremiah how to play freeze-tag, but Jeremiah didn't really understand. (Danielle followed the instructions reasonably well, though.)

One of Isaac's favorite phrases is "MOM, we have an EMERGENCY! EMERGENCY!" I'll suffice to say MANY things apparently are considered emergencies.

Jeremiah

Sweet things Jeremiah has been doing lately, other than locking me out of the apartment (see below):

Singing most of the words to "If the Savior Stood Beside Me" in Primary on Sunday. Well, not just singing...more like...belting it out. He used the right words bout 85% of the time, and the other 15% was "panda mommy panda mommy." (He sang in tune, too.)

Holding the top of his head with a huge grin, while we were in the monkey exhibit at the Zoo. A monkey was running along the rope that keeps the people out of the monkey area and in the people area, which Jeremiah was holding onto, and when it came to Jeremiah the monkey simply jumped over him and landed on the rope on the other side of him! It was crazy, and very surprising! Jeremiah wasn't quite sure what to think about that monkey jumping over his head--he took a stunned step back and grinned and held his head to keep safe.

Waiting patiently for his turn and following verbal instructions. (Thank you.)

Saying "I'm sorry" and meaning it (most times) when someone is hurt or tips over or is sad.

Saying good-bye to specific kids in his preschool class when he leaves school.

Holding Danielle's hand when we walk somewhere (I hold her other hand).

Singing Isaac's alphabet chant from kindergarten and getting the letters mixed up: D, D Zebra, dih, dih, Zebra!

Watching football on a big screen TV (muted) and standing in front, punching, saying, "Fight! Fight!"

Psychotic

That, or manic-depressive. I can't decide which.

Me, actually. Not my kids, not the weather (thought it could very well be described as such).

I seem to be having highs and lows, with the lows coming unpredictably. Well, the last one came unpredictably. I'm self-medicating (large doses or books, usually daily), and so far it's been working, and it's been about 9 days. (I need book recommendations, please.)

For example, today would have made most people a little crazy, but not me. I took Danielle and Jeremiah to the YMCA (I exercised...lightly...and shortly) while they played in the childcare (today was the first time I took them, so I didn't want to be gone for too long). And when we were ready to leave (well, after the 3.5 minute tantrum about leaving the Spiderman action figure there), it turns out the car wouldn't start. I walked the kids home--just 3 miles, 95 degrees, and pushing a 90-pound stroller (but I was very happy that I had the stroller). After we relaxed at home for 30 minutes, it was time to get the stroller down the flight of stairs (up wasn't fun, either) and walk Jeremiah to school. I decided to take the stroller first, before the kids (any other way is ridiculous, for those who don't have kids). Danielle followed me, down the stairs and back up. Jeremiah locked us out. Of course, I didn't have key, phone, purse, anything. Not even a bribe. (It's rather tricky carrying the stroller down the stairs while carrying anything else, in my defense.) He sang songs at the top of his lungs...so at least I knew he was okay. When I'd knock and ask/yell at him to open the door (I wanted to make sure he could hear me), he'd say, "No! Never! Not today!" (knock, knock) "Not today!" I tried bribing him with fruit snacks ("not today!") and apples and juice and other things that were inside, but to no avail. Then, I tried bribing him with kisses. And it worked! He definitely got kisses for opening the door. (He was on time. I'd allotted extra "just-in-case" time, thinking we wouldn't need it.)

Yep. It's almost time to go pick up the kids. Life is good. Right now. Check back in a couple hours for my evil half to be dominating.

(Again, with the book recommendations. I know there's some good stuff coming out soon. Quantity and quality both count here, though.)

Danielle

Danielle has truly been a joy to me these past few weeks. She is so happy, so joyful, so incredibly cute and genuine.

I finally figured out how to get her to sit still so I can put her hair up: I sit her on the countertop of the bathroom sink, she puts her feet in the sink and brushes her teeth, and she's in one place long enough that I can get a few elastics in her hair so it mostly stays out of her face for a reasonable amount of time each day. Then she looks in the mirror afterward and exclaims "So CUTE!!!," which of course, is so cute.

She answers questions... How old are you? "None," holding up one finger. What's your name? "Duh-nell" She makes many requests to go on walks in the stroller. Two of her favorite new words this week are Cinderella and robot. She loves to read books, and is constantly asking me what things are while I'm driving. She always wants to know what color, and likes to tell me everything is "eeen!" (green, but sometimes pink. Yes, they sound the same.)

She still loves to have two fingers in her mouth, especially in new situations. She wants to do everything that her brothers do, including go potty (standing, of course). She is still my best eater and my best listener, and the easiest to get to sleep.

Danielle absolutely loves Cinderella (and princesses in general). I bought her a Cinderella doll; Jeremiah loves Cinderella and her "ooh, pretty princess dress" as much as Danielle (I'll chalk it up to princesses being a novelty here). So, Danielle's Christmas wish-list consists of baby dolls and princesses. :)

Arizona

So, we made it. We had a crazy month in August with two weddings in two states we weren't living in and the craziness of packing and cleaning up our house in La Crosse and then moving into our apartment here.

We're doing well. My boys all enjoy their schools, and John has the fewest hours in class. :) I'm starting to have a nice schedule and figuring out when to do what with the most productivity and happiness. I got pulled over (first time ever) because I still had temporary plates on the car and it had expired the day before (we had gone to the dealer to pick up our plates and he didn't have them ready and told us to come back Monday, so it's totally not my fault and I thanked the officer for pulling me over--that's his job, right?). Isaac's having a hard time adjusting, but Danielle and Jeremiah are happy little clams. It should be a good, different, interesting two years.

Today John was sustained and set apart as the Assistant Scoutmaster (is anyone really surprised? He's been in Scouts since we've been in family wards...He brought his Scout shirt, and we packed really lightly), and I am the ward organist and a Primary worker. I tried to not accept the organist calling, and our bishop looked at me and recommended thinking about it and giving him a call within the next few days--I left him a message a few hours later accepting it. :) And I'm Jeremiah's Sunbeam teacher. He's the only one. At least I know exactly how many kids will be in class each week. :)